Holiday gatherings.
The wood stove is cozy. Family time together. I love that there is willingness to travel to our home.
Meals. Games. Chilly hikes. Tales of gratitude. Haiku poems? Maybe!
I love that our home fills up with all ages (11 months to 71) and that every pull out couch, blow up mattress and even the shed is full of family.
Shared meals. Who's making the pies?
Extra dogs. Of course extra dogs!
Chaos!
For years, for so many years, it also meant A LOT of alcohol. It all went together.
Pouring the wine early afternoon during food prep. Losing count by the end of the night.
That foggy feeling in the morning. "More coffee!"
We will still have wine on the table. Options of NA drinks too. All are welcome here.
I look forward to knowing that my laughter is from within, not from the wine.
That I am game to get up early with the babies with ease.
That I will remember the sweet conversations.
But isn't it hard? Don't you miss alcohol?
The answer to both: no.
It isn't hard because I know in my bones: I am SO much more myself without alcohol.
I don't crave it, want it, or feel like I gain anything by it.
Was that true in the beginning? No. It took a while before the beliefs unravelled.
What can bring about that mindset shift?
Often: simple curiosity. How do you actually feel??? How do you want to feel??? Exploring with awareness.
AND add a dose of kindness for yourself. Nobody I know has ever made any good in their lives by beating themselves up. (felt terrible? drink more!)
This is not about rules, goals, willpower or strength. Its about exploring. Fist and foremost. Total honesty. This is for you and you only.
What could life look like without alcohol?
Create your lists: Why do you want to explore your relationship with alcohol? What will you gain?
What are you afraid of? What will you lose?
I burned my lists after I wrote them. No way did I want anyone else to find them.
But it started the questions inside.
With a nudge from deep within, I wanted to see what I would FEEL without alcohol.
I am finding a life that feels authentic and real and messy and beautiful.
Holiday craziness ahead.
Stay tuned.
"How to thrive during the holidays" coming soon.
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